Random Girl in Yoga Pants

Jen Selter, Will You Marry Me?

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jen-selter-marry-meAs a general rule of thumb, we like to keep the marriage proposals as few and far between as possible (I think I maxed out at 4 or 5 in one month) – because while there are a lot of great booties out there, only some will stand the test of time. With saying that, I have confidence that one booty will look as great in 15 years as it does now, and that is why I have penned this open letter to Jen Selter.

Jen,

I know I’m not the typical muscle man that you probably date, and I’m sure you prefer the smell of his Dolce cologne to that of my basement palace’s mild mix of doritos and sweat, but let me ask you this – can Muscles guarantee you 3 home cooked meals a day? Because mum is always whipping up something in the kitchen and you could set your watch by the dinner bell. While I can’t guarantee you will be sexually satisfied, I can guarantee that I will be – and in the end, it’s better to give than receive, right? I don’t have a ring and I can’t shower you in gifts, but I read an article recently that diamonds are bullshit, so I know you wouldn’t want one of those silly things.

While mum is the number 1 woman in my life, you’ll definitely be my number 2, possibly 1.5! So, how does that sound?

If interested, please have your people contact my people
(mum’s number is 416-555-3828).

Thanks!

Jon Johnson

PS: Did I mention we have digital cable and high speed internet?

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14 Comments Big booty  //  Celebrities  //  In public  //  Model

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  • Bootyluver

    Funny post and what an epic booty. I think u are right. This one will look just as good if not better in 15-20yrs++

  • doctor stinkstah

    When she’s 57 I would still pound her dumper. No questions asked. thestinky dot com

  • Master Amsu

    Sure she looks good but how the hell do you know if she isn’t a whinny pain in the ass, that needs to be ball gagged all day long!

    • Worn Wranglers

      Doesn’t that describe EVERY good-looking woman?!?

      • Pax Humana

        Do not your comments describe why you two will live out the internet meme of “Forever Alone,” Worm Wranglers and Master Asmu?

  • http://www.bestfitbybrazil.com Anna Brazil

    lol her figure is here to stay.

  • http://www.bestfitbybrazil.com Anna Brazil

    I seen her modeling a few articles some of lulu stuff and Best Fit by Brazil

  • Bucky

    This butter face is a double-bagger

    • Pax Humana

      Your face is a quadruple-bagger in that case, Bucky the Dumb Fuck.

  • asd

    Why is she walking with dirty shoes on wall?

  • annabananaqt

    Who else thinks stinky and Jon Johnson are one and the same dude?

  • kdub

    Nice Ass!

  • Will Miller

    wow

  • Okc Dave

    Attention whore alert!

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